All the Boob News that's Fit to Print

As far as work on the Pink Film archives, I spent most of the week sorting and categorizing several dozen large (400px) Pink film poster images from Shizukatsu Theatre. I had dug them up out of a search through the Internet Archive a few years ago, back when I was under the mistaken impression that "the sum of human knowledge" included Japanese cinema, cult films, and softcore erotic cinema, and that contributions to these realms of knowledge would be welcome. Anyway, that work is not wasted, since these posters will soon be posted at my Pink Film blog(s), and eventually linked from IMDb. I'm back to sorting through the Nakamura Eigeki 181-px posters now.

Several events in the Japanese branch of the Boobpedian universe demand our attention today. Since CNN has probably neglected these news stories, allow me to present them. First, the great Miyabi Hayama made her final public appearance today, according to the IZM blog. Say goodbye to Miyabi, above right. Gone but never to be forgotten.

Though Ms. Hayama's magnificent presence will be sorely missed, IZM's stable of big, beautiful, bouncy babes still thrives. Iori Kuroki announced a new IZM DVD, Bakunyû chi-fujin (爆乳痴夫人; ICD-183). Madam Kuroki would probably be much more a favorite of mine had I not seen images of her smoking... Smoking, piercing or tattoos... Dekkappai just says, "No". Dekkappai says "Yes" to booze!





The grand Ms. Sara Aikawa, at right, appears in her new IZM DVD Chô shiri nikukai (超尻肉塊; ICD-182). And below, our protagonist in the video measures up the Herculean labor ahead of him.












Meanwhile over at the JAMS' blog, new images of the always-welcome Tamaki Yasuoka have been posted. Here she is, at left, in her JAMS DVD, WZA-04.

This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this Boobpedia!

Boobpedia work was pretty slow today-- just added a few synopses to some of the JAMS articles, based on descriptions from Fetish World while listening to Bellini's La Sonnambula (Bernstein & Callas) and drinking cheap cabernet sauvignon ("Dago red", I believe, is the scientific nomenclature). Several of the descriptions were too skimpy to be useful, "Very hot big boobs!! She has the best big boobs!!" for example. A bit hard to spin a Shakespearian plot out of that. The video title (Gal's Big Boobs!!) says it all in fact, and quite eloquently. Brevity, as the man says, is the soul of wit. I translated the full title more literally, long-windedly, if less idiomatically, as Super Boob Gal!! Delicious, Juicy Woman Flesh. It stars one of my absolute favorites, the breath-taking Noa Serizawa (seen at left, in a publicity shot for the DVD). In fact two of the item descriptions were identical: "Very glamorous plump body!! Neat and clean kimono and plump hell!" A noble sentiment, but useless for creating a synopsis. Ah well, humble Boobpedia-- unlike smug, self-satisfied Wikipedia-- will never be finished. Eventually these little DVD stubs will have synopses worthy of the fine works of Japanese BBW erotica they no doubt are. If I don't live to see that day, some Asian-BBW-obsessed successor will do the job. I have faith. And if not, these articles will remain to record the existence of these lovely ladies and the DVDs in which they starred...

Then we have the "plot descriptions" of pure hyperbole, such as Ultra Buxom Woman!! Akiba Super Tits Girl's which claims of Karen Toudou "Perhaps she has the 'biggest' breasts among all Asian women! She is the star! Our star of the female breasts! The best of the best!" Now, don't get me wrong, I love her madly. She's an absolutely gorgeous woman: beautiful, intelligent-looking face, incredible ass, legs, thighs, calves, boobs, belly (my God what a beauty!), plus-- be still my heart-- she wears glasses! (And it goes without saying, but I'd better say it to allay all doubts: I'd flip her in a nonce with relish.) But the biggest boobs in Asia?... Really? The whole continent?...

Going back through the series to write these synopses allowed me to get re-acquainted with a few of the older favorites, a major, major among them being Mitsumi Nanao. Like Rei Tachibana from a few days ago, Mitsumi has a bit of a half-Asian look. Is interracial marriage producing these marvels of modern science like the one we see on the left? I believe we were discussing tummies a couple days ago. Feast your eyes on this morsel of Rubenesque glory cropped from the DVD cover of Stunning Flesh!! Erection-Devouring Female Teacher (March 2009). And good God, the legs, and the thighs... Now if you are able to remove your eyes from that photo, if I could direct your attention to the lower right of this post, cast a longing look at the glimpse of the Gate to Heaven Ms. Nanao provides us, courtesy of Give Me Big Tits or Give Me Death: 111cm Lovely Busty Girl, K-cup Mitsumi Nanao (April 2009).

It looks like she has retired from AV work, which is quite a loss. After her girlish debut in 2006 with My Little Lover Mitsumi, she was maturing into a gorgeous mature woman at the time of her last known starring appearance, for JAMS in Big Tit Dojo 3: Amazing Flesh! Strongest Tag Volume (May 2009). One can always hope for a comeback...

Ode to a Rumbly Tumbly

Continuing the JAMS project, I started a stub on their lovely actress Ayaka Yuzuki (pictured at right) this morning. Nice, pretty face, scrumptious ass and boobs, of course, but look at that belly! Oh, my, there's a place old Dekkappai would like to lay his weary head... The belly gets little respect these days, but why should a nice, plump, soft belly be any less desirable than ass & boobs with similar tactile and aesthetic qualities? Ms. Yuzuki also has a deep belly button to show off the pleasing tummy-flesh around it. All-in-all quite a beautiful girl-- I'd flip her in a nonce with relish! With a cup of French roast, that was a very nice way to start off the morning. I wasted my afternoon BP work time trying to figure out better how this blog site works. I figured out more, so I suppose it wasn't a total waste. I'll just post at night though, after the evening's editing is done.

The last couple entries in the New Sexy Zone series-- The Super Tits Spy! Huge Tits Blowjob Lady and Huge-Ass Mask, Super Thunder-Thigh Amazon-- have rather amusing little scenarios as pretexts to their pornographic romping. The former is about a buxom, big-assed female spy who infiltrates an enemy country to sit on faces until they begin spilling national secrets. The second has a faithful, large-rear-ended wife fighting predatory credit collectors by transforming into a super heroine and... you guessed it... sitting on their faces. (At left Anna Moriyama deals harshly with bill collectors in Huge-Ass Mask, Super Thunder-Thigh Amazon) I hope these story-based DVDs continue, simply because they make writing a synopsis more fun, but not to the extent that they revert back to the style of the early AVs. The AVs of the '80s were like mini, poorly-made Pink-films: All plot, with just fleeting scenes of nudity and/or sex... and the plots were not interesting, as those of Pink films can be. I enjoy good Pink films as straight films-- that is, films-- period-- which happen to have erotic content. When up for a bit of cinematic entertainment, one doesn't pop on an AV. The AVs address more primitive urges. As early AV idol, Kaoru Kuroki put it, they are "a bit like eating and menus in restaurants: you're hungry and you have a sudden craving for noodles, so you go and eat noodles. Your appetite is towards a porno video, so you go and rent whatever turns you on. And as with food, viewers can use basic ingredients to 'cook' the desired stimulation from the video themselves." (quoted in Bornoff, Nicholas (1994) [1991]. "Bye-Bye Pink Cinema, Hello Adult Video". Pink Samurai: An Erotic Exploration of Japanese Society; The Pursuit and Politics of Sex in Japan (Paperback ed.). London: HarperCollins. ISBN 0-586-20576-4.)

Pink films don't work this way. Does anyone really find the films of Hisayasu Satou to be arousing in any way whatsoever? I sure as Hell don't, in fact I find them to be anti-erotic. The cinematic equivalent of a cold shower. (Which made it all the more irritating when some Wikipedian crusader tried to paint me as a monster for starting articles on Satou's films, claiming I was "wanking off" to Satou's cinematic atrocities. That type of smearing-by-association is an old trick among totalitarian thugs, and so, naturally, it's commonplace at Wikipedia.) Yet they are very interesting films-- some of the best Pink films I've seen. I'd watch any one of them before I'd sit down and watch an entire AV... which would be, to stretch the metaphor of the astute Ms. Kuroki a little, like eating everything on a menu...

At night I started bio-stubs on a couple more actresses in the New Sexy Zone series which finishes my work on that series for now. Next project: the BOMC / Bon Bon Cherry series. The BP server started acting badly, so I spent the rest of the evening's editing time making preparations for that work. I had already downloaded all the DVD covers. I cropped out front covers for the templates, and started picking screenshots for the articles. Starting at the end (BOMC-028), I worked back to #16.

Calling it quits early, I watched Boys of the City-- an East Side Kids epic. I never was a fan of them, but my son likes them, and it's getting hard to persuade him to watch the good old crap with me these days. I watch the new crap with him at the theaters. Boys of the City has the Kids in a haunted house in the country, with murders, gangsters, and other clichés of low-brow 1940s comedy. The only thing missing to make it a complete encyclopedia of '40s crap-comedy-cliché is a guy in a really bad gorilla suit. (The Three Stooges must have had that gorilla suit tied up during the filming of Boys of the City.) The eye-rolling, knee-shaking, stammering "darkie" cliché was there in all its embarrassing glory, in the person of Ernest "Sunshine Sammy" Morrison. "Ah ain't afraid o' none o' dem ghostesses... ah's a-SCEERED ob 'em!"-type witticisms. I tried hard to be offended, but to tell the truth, "Sunshine Sammy" was the most entertaining character in the movie. Apparently Sammy had been in Hal Roach's silent Our Gang films. After his work with the East End Kids he went off to the war, then declined an offer to join the Bowery Boys when they were starting up that series. Too bad he didn't stick with them through the Bowery Boys years, toning down the stereotype, of course... Leo Gorcey hadn't quite developed his instrument yet. Just came off as a smart-ass kid most of the time. "Sunshine Sammy" obviously had talent, but that's probably as far as he could get in Hollywood of that day-- burying his face in watermelon and smacking his lips. Anyway, Boys wasn't as bad as expected. Not especially good, but not too bad. Click here and take a look at it for free at the Internet Archive.

Something to Do with Death

I finished getting the Cinema Unit GAS DVDs up-to-date last week, and continue my work on JAMS today. I started two more articles on DVDs in their New Sexy Zone series this morning-- "Flopped out a coupla quicklies" as I am wont to say when I'm in the mood to amuse, confuse, and bemuse myself. I finished the New Sexy Zone series in the evening. Traditional S/M-type stuff of the Japanese variety (men abusing women) never interested me. I find it childish and silly. Ditto the European/American variety: Primitive cosplay. But I have to admit I find these types of videos-- JAMS and IZM-- or at least the video clips, screen shots and DVD covers, which is all I see of them-- to have a certain undeniable charm. Big, bountiful, buxom Asian women pulverize their little male partners. Ah life...

Yours truly, old Dekkappai, has reached the point in his life when mortality is pressing its nose against, and fogging up the window of his consciousness. What did the great men do when faced with thoughts of death? Sibelius responded with his Fourth Symphony. Kurosawa responded with Ikiru. And Dekkappai? He wonders how he can sneak out as easily, quickly and painlessly as possible, hoping that he doesn't make too much of a fool of himself in the process-- blubbering and whimpering or shitting his pants or something... What have I ever asked from life? Big, fleshy-assed, thick-legged, soft-bellied, buxom Asian women. And my life has been blessed in that regard. So, should a long, drawn-out, humiliating death be imminent, and pre-emption by euthanasia look like the best way out, here is how I want to exit this vale of tears: Death by suffocation. Smothered between the breasts and/or buttocks, of a big, fat, bouncy, beautiful Asian lass. (Pictured at right: Karen Toudou unsheathing one of the weapons of mercy by which I, Dekkappai, wish to meet my demise.) Oh, death, where is thy sting?

During the day I gathered the data for my next Boobpedia project, a new series which features supposedly amateur women with immense bazooms. I say "supposedly" because experienced actresses pretending to be amateurs has a long and respected history in Japanese AV. (Something like Wakamatsu's "Second-Time Virgin") And I think-- at first glance-- that I've seen a couple of these gals before... although I can only judge from their breasts, their faces being covered to protect their privacy... or to create the illusion of it. I'll start a few stubs on the new actresses in the JAMS series tomorrow, then start the new DVD series. After my Boobpedia work for the evening, I made my first post here on this blog, about the activities of the previous day, and their distantly-related ramblings, grumblings and rants. That's probably how I'll do things here, or gather up bits and pieces until I've got enough to post. Post it. Then fiddle around with it forever.

After turning off the computer I watched one of my Mill Creek Spaghetti Westerns, Keoma (1976). It being a late entry in the spaghetti cycle, I wasn't expecting much. But it turned out to be pretty damned good, the last gasp of life from a genre on its death bed. It's an anti-racist statement-- with good old Woody Strode in a supporting role. It had one flaw, however, and that one flaw was so major it will, all by itself, prevent me from watching the film again. That flaw: The soundtrack. Oh sweet Jesus in heaven, just thinking about it makes me cringe. It's an unbearable and interminable narrative ballad which runs through the film, commenting on the action. It's sung by a shrill, screechy-voiced woman apparently trying to imitate Joan Baez or Joni Mitchell, or some folk-pop singer of the 1960s. I prayed, I begged, for another singer to take over. Anyone, I thought, would be better. Then-- God be praised!-- another singer took over! A man... but... wait a minute... good God... he's even WORSE than the woman! I kid you not! He sang like a man who had had a tracheotomy. Nothing against people with tracheotomies, but should they really be singing film soundtracks? Anyway, the male singer's tuneless moaning and mumbling made me miss the shrieking of the old crone... but not for long, as she soon relieved the male crooner. If I could have turned off just the music it would have been a fine little film... I find out from IMDb that the male singer was none other than Franco Nero-- who, in the role of Keoma, was the star of the film. Well, he should have stuck to acting... Hearing that god-awful racket made me think that the poor guy needed to be put out of his misery. I prayed for his and my delivery from this pitiful, excruciating wailing. Over on the right, Nero, there's your relief from suffering, in the body of that angel of mercy, Shizuka Kyouno, in her starring role in Step-Mother's Huge, Fat Tits: Shizuka Kyouno.